The Groomsmen's Attire

From the first day of this engagement, the Bride made it clear that I have only 1 - count it, one - item of control in this whole planning process, and that is the cake. Now, don't get me wrong, I love cake, but this is not my only area of expertise. Fortunately, the Bride was a little shortsighted, and didn't realize I get to choose the groomsmen.

After much debate, it appears that we (she) have (has) chosen the wedding colors. I didn't get the Syracuse Orange I was so adamant about, but I'll deal (and let's get something straight here, when I offered powder blue as an option, it was only to appease the Bride).

So now we have to find some clothes that are good enough for the group of badasses that will be standing up next to me. These are no ordinary men, people. They are superheroes, and they deserve to be dressed as such. No, I'm not talking about capes, although no one has ever looked bad in a cape. I'm talking about a suit that speaks volumes about the man who is wearing it. So look no further:

Source: http://www.yankeesmall.com

Obviously I know what you're wondering, my dear, old Bride. Why did I forego Roger Maris and a complete lineup of single digit legends? I'm just hoping whoever ends up in #42 will get the ultimate save, and whisk me out of the church before you show up.

All joking aside, darling, what are your thoughts on capes?


To The Bride

To My Dear, Sweet Bride,

You know how I feel about you. That's why I've started calling you "My Bride" instead of "Some Broad." You also knew what you signed up for when you said "Yes." So now, a month into this engagement, with approximately nine months left until this knot is done-and-tied, I'm going to be airing out all of the wedding planning bullshit on here.

Don't get me wrong, sugar-pants, I want you to have the wedding you've always dreamed about, and I want to be a part of the planning process, but there's only so much time I can spend debating the pros and cons of wedding colors without losing my mind. Thus, I've taken to bloggers' catharsis, rather than passive-aggressively rolling over onto you and smothering you to death while we sleep (an accident, I'm sure).

So, in conclusion, asking you to marry me was undoubtedly the best decision I've ever made in my life. As for the rest of these decisions, well, in a year we'll just be joshing each other about what a long, arduous process it was. Until that time is up, though, I respectfully reserve the right to rant and rave to anyone who will listen.

Love Forever,
Your Angry Bridegroom