To The Bride

To My Dear, Sweet Bride,

You know how I feel about you. That's why I've started calling you "My Bride" instead of "Some Broad." You also knew what you signed up for when you said "Yes." So now, a month into this engagement, with approximately nine months left until this knot is done-and-tied, I'm going to be airing out all of the wedding planning bullshit on here.

Don't get me wrong, sugar-pants, I want you to have the wedding you've always dreamed about, and I want to be a part of the planning process, but there's only so much time I can spend debating the pros and cons of wedding colors without losing my mind. Thus, I've taken to bloggers' catharsis, rather than passive-aggressively rolling over onto you and smothering you to death while we sleep (an accident, I'm sure).

So, in conclusion, asking you to marry me was undoubtedly the best decision I've ever made in my life. As for the rest of these decisions, well, in a year we'll just be joshing each other about what a long, arduous process it was. Until that time is up, though, I respectfully reserve the right to rant and rave to anyone who will listen.

Love Forever,
Your Angry Bridegroom

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