At first, being so angry, I was skeptical of these engagement photos. Then I realized, there are still a few glimmers of happiness left in this relationship, even amidst the wedding planning. Better to capture them now, than wait until they're gone for good! So yes, darling, I will take these pictures with you.
But don't ask me where and when we should do them. On a beach or in a car, I do not care where the hell we are. As a matter of fact, I don't even care if we are in them. If you want to get down to the real nitty gritty, I don't think we should be in them! Conventionality is dead! That's why we're switching it up: An Engagement Diorama!
This afternoon I will head to the Play-Doh store, where I will pick up all of the necessary colors of Play-Doh to create the most beautiful, picturesque engagement diorama this side of the other side. I already have the shoe box. With Play-Doh, our love will know no bounds. We can go anywhere we want! Wear anything we want! BE anything we want! The true American dream. Plus, since neither myself nor the Bride have any artistic talent whatsoever, no one will know what the pictures are!
It just came to my attention that I have absolutely no idea what the point of engagement photos is. Do other people even see them? And if so, wouldn't they rather see cool, badass Play-Doh people, rather than faces they've known for years?
So why trek to some romantic bluff overlooking some romantic sunset over a romantic ocean with romantic dolphins copulating at high tide? We could spend a day - nay, 2 days! - creating memories that will last a lifetime while creating the first ever engagement diorama. And when we look back in five to sixty years when this romance has run its course, at least our Play-Doh likenesses will be smiling.
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